The ceasefire we all need ~ by Basil Odilim

Let’s be honest—the blame starts with us.

I’m not pointing fingers without first looking inward. I, too, spend nearly every day solving one problem after another. And no matter how many I fix, more seem to appear, each one pulling me deeper into a cycle that feels endless. I keep telling myself I’ll step outside soon, breathe again, live again—but that moment keeps getting postponed. And I know I’m not alone.

Many of us are stuck in that same rhythm—life as a competition, a zero-sum game. In a world that rewards appearances and applause, where the line between self-worth and public validation has blurred, we’ve grown more disconnected from what really matters.

Maybe we need to pause—just for a moment—and ask ourselves something simple: Are we truly happier today than we were twenty years ago, even when we had far less?

As we’ve climbed the ladder of so-called success, have we found more joy—or have we simply lost sight of ourselves?

I often reflect on what Michael Jackson said during his trial when the world seemed to be closing in on him. He explained that he loved being around children because he had never had a childhood.

That line stayed with me. Because I, too, never really had a childhood—not after the Nigerian Civil War, which forced all of us into a race to catch up on lost years.

But life, in its strange and tender way, offers us a second chance. Through my son, I’ve started to experience the childhood I never had.

Just yesterday, after he finished writing his common entrance examination, he walked out smiling and asked me, “Dad, the questions were so easy. Why do they call it an examination?” I smiled back and said, “It felt easy because you were prepared. It’s only hard for those who aren’t.”

To celebrate, we went out and bought a generous helping of his favorite—chicken wings—and some drinks. Watching him eat, laugh, and live so freely, I felt something stir inside me. A sudden lightness. A glimpse of the child I once was, and the one I’m just now getting to know.

That moment reminded me how much we lose when we spend our lives rushing, striving, and performing. It reminded me what really matters.

So no, we cannot keep going in this same direction and expect to find peace. But we can choose differently.

We can slow down. We can stop living for the world’s expectations and start listening to what our own soul truly needs. We can reclaim our joy—not the manufactured kind, but the quiet, steady kind that comes from simply being alive. And it doesn’t take much to begin.

Pick up the phone. Call that old friend you haven’t spoken to in years. Reach out to the sibling you’ve lost touch with. Break the silence. Reopen the door.

Let’s call it what it is—a ceasefire. Not just with the world, but with ourselves. Because happiness isn’t waiting at the end of success. It’s waiting in moments like these—unplanned, unpolished, and unforgettable.

Odilim Enwegbara

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