Shocking story of a lady who nearly lost her life trying to be a wife

Do you think you understand what Nigerian women suffer in their marriages?

We can talk about domestic violence, but certain most people do not understand what it means. 

I share in parts the story that will shock you so much, you will not sleep tonight. It is the story of a Nigerian “wife”. 

She so wanted to be a wife that she nearly gave her life:

——

Good evening sir. I love what is happening in DPA and I pray God will continue to strengthen everyone committed to this project.

I am Chidinma by name and I will like to share this aching pain that I have carried in my heart for about 2 years now.

Sir, 3rd of December this year, will make it 2 years since I left my marriage of 8 years. Sir, all through that 8 years of marriage was nothing but a traumatic and painful experience, full of agony, pains and regrets. 

The marriage was childless for 5 years until God finally gave us a bouncing baby boy. This wait was mainly due to lack of sex in the marriage as my husband always had reasons not to have sex with me.

I remember begging him on several occasions, to at least if not for anything, let’s make babies. He would always shove me off giving me excuses.

Usually, if my request came at night, he will promise me d next morning claiming to b tired from d day’s work. If it was in d morning, he will promise me when he got back from work. 

This deprivation would last for months and months unending. 

At some point, my fertility doctor had to start sending me for follicular tracking (ovulation tracking) which I did 3 times every month after my period, just so we could track my peak period and I could do everything possible to get my husband’s sperm to enable me get pregnant either by crook or hook. 

Still, after passing through these rigorous n uncomfortable procedures in d presence of both students; learning and d professional radiologists themselves, on the said date, my husband will still find excuses not to adhere to d instruction of d doctor.

From d beginning of d marriage; I didn’t meet my husband rich. I met him a struggling young man, whom even though I had richer suitors, my wish was to marry someone whom I would toil n grow with. 

My thought back then was to marry someone I would proudly say I know d source of his wealth. I was ready to work together as a team with whoever it is that would be my husband. 

And so, I finally I accepted to marry him after his long time n endless persuasion. When we got married, I was 21 years old and in my 2nd year in the university.

So all through courtship n early years of d marriage, I was in school in UNILAG while he was based in Port Harcourt. 

Our relationship was a long distant one which our seeing was based on whenever he visited Lagos or whenever I visited Port Harcourt, until I finished my school, then I relocated finally and moved in with him. 

I finally moved in after graduation in 2008 but we had our traditional wedding in 2006. 

From the first week I moved in with him, I started noticing some things that were really strange about him. 

But I thought may be with time, he would change, since we were already married and there was nothing much I could do again.

The very first fight we had that made me pack my stuffs that I wanted to leave was the first months of our marriage when his father loved me to bits. 

The man loved everything about me and usually called while I was in school to check up on me, which innocently, I will tell my hubby his father called me o, see see see. 

Afterwards he started warning me not to ever hug any of his siblings nor his father. 

Later he accused me blatantly of having an affair with his father which his mother and sisters heard this and got really angry with him. 

I packed my things that I was no longer interested in d marriage, but later, he apologised and the situation calmed, but still each time we travelled home and I greeted his father, his countenance n d way he will look at me said it all, but I pretended not to notice.

These attitudes transcended to his brothers, friends, and even my own relatives. No one came to our house. 

He told me blatantly that everybody was a suspect. 

He said since my parents did not have a son, and only son they had was adopted and which was still a minor, that any guy around me was not family as far as he was concerned. 

For peace to reign, I agreed. He would come home with a new SIM and a new phone and change my phone claiming he didn’t even trust himself so he trusted nobody. 

I agreed still. Later on, I advised him to find a business and invest in rather than basing on his father’s business. 

He should remember his father had two wives and had children from the other woman. 

Continued…

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